Entertaining Myself

If I give you a straw, will you go suck the fun out of someone else’s life?

Your trailer park called.

Saint Valentine was eventually imprisoned, beaten, stoned and beheaded.

No, I don’t need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see you’re a train wreck from all the way over here.

The heat index…

This is a list of who asked for your opinion.

My birthday suit needs to be taken in.

I’m assuming you have a low tolerance for awesome.

Fool people into thinking you have a social life.

Say one more thing…